Before the Next Door Opens

Many speak of opportunities- "When one door closes, another one opens." But, rarely about the hallway. The transition. The in-between where you are and where you are headed. The hallway doesn't have to be a scary, dark, endless confusion- it can be a place of massive transformation, great memories, and peace. ~ Chris Westmoreland 

 Transition. That is where I am right now at 44 years old. Starting over... I have walked out of the door marked "Elementary Teacher" and shut the door to that career forever. Now, I am standing in the hallway of transition. The air is heavy and musty, like a room that has been closed up for too long. Doubt, uncertainty, and fear permeate every inch of the narrow space. 

I know I have pushed past my comfort zone this time.  

I turn to look back at the door behind me, reminding myself that this time I didn't leave it cracked. This time there is no turning back. This journey will be into uncharted areas of the soul. This journey will be uncomfortable, but necessary. 

Cobwebs brush my face as trembling fingers graze the cold, damp walls. My feet step carefully on the uneven flooring beneath me. My leg bumps into something hard. As I maneuver my way around this obstacle, I realize I am sweating. My breathing has become shallow, making me feel disoriented.  

Breathe. 

I long to be led down this unknown hall by a warm comforting handguided by someone that has traveled this road beforea gentle voice reassuring me in a soft whisper..."You are ok. I am here."  

I search for a beacon of light that assures me I am on the right track. 

But I am left to take this journey alone, relying on my intuition to lead the way. I must be my own sense of comfort, nudging myself to move forward with the understanding that I am ok. I reflect on the reasons why I chose to leave the room in the first place- boredom, burnout, frustration, lack of creativity... 

At times, I feel like I have been here too long. My feet ache, and my head hurts. I should have reached the end of the hall by now, or at least a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel...anything to make this journey easier. But, that is not how this process works. Time is irrelevant in this space of personal growth. I will be here as long as I need to be in order to transform my thoughtsfeelings, and actions. I am in a place that requires a massive amount of trust. 

This is the time to honor the in-between place, the space bridging where I have been and where I am going. It is quiet here, and in the silence, I can hear my soul's purpose. It is here that I know what I am meant to do. But, I resist; my calling seems overwhelming, too much to ask of one person...  

How can I do it all?  Asking that question summons up only one answer...do it all with love.  

Magic happens in the stillness, the pause of the hallway..the ability to see things in a new light. It is only in the darkness that things are truly revealed. Merely changing the way I see this transition actually changes the situation. By viewing this time in my life as an incredible adventure, I could shift my thought process to one of positivity. I am in charge; I choose my next move.  

What if I woke up each day excited to be in the hallway, a world of endless possibilities? What if I chose to take a step forward into the darkness without all the answers, knowing I was safe to explore? What if one day I looked back at my time in the hallway with pride?

 What if I knew that in this long, dark hallway I was meant to shine?